oi these floors are no good!

Let's see here..what time is it. Woah 6:16am. I'm still up. The hubby woke up a few ago and said "You are still up??" then *snore* haha I love that he lets me be me. Woah almost fell asleep there hahah.
My whole point of this post was to ask...Is any really truely happy? Are we always seeking for that point of satisfaction and do we ever really get there? Is ignorance truely bliss?? Sometimes I wonder. I sit back and observe. I think to be truely happy you have to be blind to a lot of things no? You have to not be empathetic ,(which I am cursed with, and trying to see the blessing in it) you have to not have a conscious, and one would have to be self centered...right?
Oh well. I will have to save this for another time possibly. My neck is killing me and I must get some shut eye. Buenas Noches! Buen Nacht! (sure spelling is off but whatever you get my drift!)

I miss my car! Just a Rant...

I'm so frustrated right now. My car isn't working and we had to wait for pay day (today) and now I don't know where to take it. My dad is being an ass. He's not being much help, because he says my husband should do it. Which I understand but my husband isn't a mechanic!! and he doesn't know anything about cars! My dad knows more ore less how to detect stuff and he's binding my hands. I said ok well then what I take it here or there? And he's being all @#$$%@#%! GOD! So, if I take it somewhere he'll probably get all pissed YET he's not telling me what he wants me to do. UGHHHH. I've been having to use his truck and I'm tired of it because he'll bitch if I let the gas go passed the quarter tank. It uses more gas than my car!! *pulls out hair* It's a standard truck and its painful especially in the mornings, cause of my tailbone, and possibly having sciatica. I MISS MY CAR!! :( :( I'm looking for a mechanic, that won't charge a ridiculous amount and will do an honest good job. I don't know where to even go! #$%!$%#$%!
I need a goooood drink! lol

Sun Kissed

My sun burn is finally healing, but its itching like hell and peeling. Fun stuff. Its late, and I'm still running off of anxious vibes from trying to write an essay for my History 2 online class. It was due at midnight and I hope I made it!! Its friggin hot down here in the kitchen too. Getting annoyed and feeling uncomfortable. I will probably shower and head to bed. (oohhh I hope I get a good grade on essay) There is 2 weeks left for summer 2 I believe, then back to school for the Fall on August 30th. Not much of a break but oh well. Work hard now, play later? right? Ughhhh....Why does life always have to be a battle. Our whole lives we depend on working our asses off just to live life. What is the deal with that? I want to travel the world and experience new things. All of which money is needed. You must work to make money (at least legally haha) but then, when do we have the time to live!!?? If we are always working? Why couldn't I have been the creator of Snuggies?!?! haha That lucky bastard is a millionaire. I only have one life but I need like 4 just to do what I want to do. I want to be a therapist, an artist, major in political science, major in philosophy or logic, be a musician (all of these as professions) How do I possibly have time for all of that? ok ok so a couple things I can do, but not as a job. What can I say...I'm a Pisces. We are dreamers, floating away into our own realities. And so I leave you with this. Something that just melts my heart. "Like butta"

Tranquility amongst chaos

I'm here at home, mom is cleaning, dad is trying to stay up. I hope he can get his sleep pattern back to normal. I feel bad for him, I've been there and its lonely. I feel like I should be doing something but I don't have anything to do really. I've cleared out the closet, put away my clothes, cleaned the bathroom and dishes are done. Its that time of the month so I don't have a lot of energy. Maybe I should go to in-laws and get those boxes out of the extra room and into storage. I need to go through a lot of things over there. I still need to get the bed. Maybe we can do that this evening if it stays dry.

I'm getting a little bored, I almost wish school was starting but at the same time I don't. I'm not looking forward to waking up early, but at least I will have something to do. I'm thinking of joining some kind of group or club because it will probably look good when applying for the PhD program. I hope hope hope I don't have to get my masters first that way I can finish faster. According to my numerology I'm supposed to have a good year. My husband will have that kind of year next year. So hopefully that means he will be going back to school.

Ok, I lost my train of thought. I should eat something, haven't had anything to eat today. I need to get out of that habit!

Week 1

We've moved pretty much everything into the room, and arranged it. Just need to bring the bed over. Luckily we don't have a time limit! I'm resting my back a little before I bring the bed. Its not heavy, so major plus there. It's been absolute bliss living back home. I'm more active, and I don't feel as lonely. I enjoy the time away from my husband too, not to say that I don't miss him. I do when he's not around, but I like time to myself too. I think I get that from my mother. She leads her life in solitude and is completely content. I used to always have to be around other people, but now I enjoy the few and close people I've let in my life. I quickly found out that having many friends is emotionally exhausting. I have found a totally new appreciation for my own family.

I have not made any new years resolution, but because I never keep them! I have made a life resolution instead. I'm trying to eat better and take vitamins, and soon I will incorporate exercise. I'll start off taking my dog and my mothers dog for walks and progress in that way. I'm still in my 20s and I feel like I'm in my 40s! I have so many body aches, headaches, and stomach aches! Its just not right! I am too young for this.

Well I must bid you adieu. I need to bundle up for this lovely cold weather and go to my in laws and pick up some of my husband's things.

Trying to get the hang of this blogspot!

These past three mornings have been great! I didn't wake up to my father in law vacuuming, or hitting the couches to dust, or the microwave or him slamming the front door, or his stupid dog barking away. Nothing but peace and quiet at my folks place. The weather today is gloomy so probably won't get our stuff in today. But tomorrow for sure hopefully!! :D I wish I was moved in already! Luckily we won't have a lot of stuff to move this time. We got a storage for the other stuff that we aren't gonna need.

My mom and I took our dogs for a walk. It was the first time Pepper and Kiku have walked together. It was too funny seeing them together, they kept getting tangled up in the leashes. haha. Next time I will take my camera. The walk was nice, even though it was drizzling and wet. I need to do it more often and I need to take pepper out on more walks so that she can calm down! She is so hyper! She's not used to an open space. I'm feeling a lot better now that I've been staying at my parents place. I was rotting away at the in-laws. I was grumpy yesterday though, but its because I felt really bloated, and it is very uncomfortable.

I should be able to get my associates hopefully by the summer. I want to transfer to another college maybe Austin, San Antonio. If I can go out of state that would be awesome! I asked my husband what he thought of San Francisco. He didn't say no and sounded kind of interested! That's a first!! He is starting to be more open minded to moving to another city. THANK GOODNESS! I only want to go and experience something new. I don't mind coming back to raise a family, but before that I would like to travel a little bit. Enjoy marriage before having kids.

2010...Bring it!

The Path I lead

Forgot I had this thing. It was supposed to be used for a clean slate.

I feel so lost. I mean I know what I want to do. But I still feel lost. I'm wasting my life. I haven't really lived it and I think that is part of the problem. Its hard too when you are the only one who feels that way. Especially when its not just yourself you have to think about. I can't wait to finish school. I still have a long ways to be completely done but hopefully by then I will have done some things that I want to do. Someday I WILL travel. I want to see the world. I want to be inspired by it. I'm so trapped. I've trapped myself. I want to pick up my bags and experience something new. My life is so boring. I'm tired of this room, tired of the people here. I need something new, something to push me, something to be excited about again. I miss that feeling. I'm so annoyed with everything, I'm not even interested in what he has to say. I feel bad. I can see it in his eyes, trying to figure me out. Wanting to help me, but not knowing how. I haven't been like this in awhile.
Blah...